also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
