literally had 100 drinks last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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