My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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