The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
