dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
