Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
