ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
