he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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