we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
