ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
