I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
