i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
