the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
