He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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