You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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