I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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