I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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