SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
