You work out of a Hotel?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
