Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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