Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
