fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
