Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
