We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
