Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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