I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
