Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
