Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize