I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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