So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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