I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
