i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
