You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
