my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
