Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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