I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
