Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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