my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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