I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
