ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
