just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
