Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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