I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
