Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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