I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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