so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
