no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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