And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
