I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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