i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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