Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
