I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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