OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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