you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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