I think I died a long time ago.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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