I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
