32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
