this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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