Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize