Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize