dude i'm inner monologue high
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
