i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
