Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
