You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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