Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
