So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
