I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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